Whole Self-Care is just what it sounds like- caring for your entire self including your physical, social, internal/emotional, and spiritual selves. The ideals of Whole Self-Care include caring for all parts of yourself in the present while giving consistent consideration for your future self at the same time. Whole Self-Care also includes having a commitment to building your ability to take care of yourself, while cultivating your awareness of where you have the agency to take care of yourself. 

In practice, Whole Self-Care includes making choices that take care of your entire self in the present and with an eye towards your future self, both at the same time. This practice involves constant consideration of how your choices affect your present and future selves almost like you are having to arbitrate between two different people, even though you are only making decisions for yourself. It can be like a balancing act!

Why focus on Whole Self-care for kids? 

Most of my clients have come to therapy unaware of an additional challenge they are facing- the compounding distress stemming from not having been taught healthy self-care as children. These gaps in self-care range from the simpler ones, like not having a bed-time routine, to nuanced ones like insufficient personal boundary management. I am repeatedly struck by the toll on mental health not only from causes such as early trauma, developmental complications and recent life events, but from the impacts of not having been taught healthy self care growing up. Learning as a kid paves the way for developing self-care for a lifetime! 

My work has also been shaped by what I have surmised about my clients’ caregivers; serious gaps in their self-care awareness. Some of my clients’ suffering as children may have resulted from their caregivers’ inability to care sufficiently for themselves. 

My writing, presentations, and songs are guided by my reflections on my clients’ histories and trajectories, and what I wished they had been given as children. While hoping to reach the children and caregivers of today and tomorrow, I dedicate this project to the children that my clients used to be.  

TEACHING WHOLE SELF-CARE

Teaching Whole Self-Care for kids is about supporting their growth on the path to caring for themselves physically, socially, and emotionally. You would be helping kids to navigate the worlds of their bodies, other people, and their own internal life. Caregivers help children in all of these areas with the goal of the child being safe, healthy, and happy in all of these “worlds” while they are kids and when they grow-up.

Teaching whole self-care is different from taking care of a child’s daily needs.  

The caregiver is helping the child in the present, while considering the child’s future well-being  at the same time! When teaching self-care while taking care of kids, the caregiver is intending for the child to learn how to do elements of the task, be motivated to learn and do the routines themselves, as well as to learn why it is important. Care givers also teach self care by how they role model their own self care attitudes and methods. 

Maintaining your focus on a child’s future can be difficult (or even impossible!) to do sometimes!  Just getting a child’s needs met in the present moment can be overwhelming enough! And, with the busy lives of parenting, it can also be hard to role model positive self care. This topic and tips for trying to reach the ideal of teaching children self-care in live time, is covered in my workshops and speaker events, and you can sign your team up with this link.

Here are a few questions that you can take with you to consider when you are caring for a child

“How will the way I am providing care affect this child today, and tomorrow?”

“How will the way I am providing care to this child affect how they learn to care for themselves?”

“What am I role modeling for kids with how I take care of myself?”